H. Roark
1600 Pennsylvania Ave
Washinton, D.C.

Joe Klein
1 Time Warner Center
New York, NY
10019

 Dear Joe,

I thought (non-Freudian) snakes were the coolest thing in the world when I was a kid.  I was so fascinated with (non-Freudian) snakes that I even owned a couple as pets.  However, I didn’t spend a whole lot of time calculating the cost of (non-Freudian) snake ownership, and soon found myself spending more than my monthly allowance on the their food: live baby mice.  I discovered one way to remedy my financial crisis:  breed mice myself and save piles of cash.  

As a high D+ math student, it took a while before the extraordinarily large litters squeezed out of mama-mouse began to alarm me.  Three months after initiating my great economic experiment, when three pregnant mice gave birth on the same day to 20+ pinkies each, it dawned on me that I would soon be stuck with 40+ surplus mice.  The cage I had was sized for two.

Needless to say, little Howie’s introduction to natural population control twisted a sub-lobe somewhere in his brain.  Few 9 year-olds are screwed up enough to be unfazed by mama-mouse eating helpless baby mouse. 

Joe, I’m telling you this story because it’s what popped into my mind when I started reading this sob-blog you recently wrote.  I imagined you as the mama-mouse, but instead of you eating 20+ angry, undercooked pinkies, they were eating you!  

Let me explain:  millions of Americans placed their faith in you, trusted you to be “the light”, the wise voice of reason in a society gone mad.  You’ve used that faith to sponsor an eight year campaign of yellow journalism and character assasination against the Bush Administration and those supporting it.  Whether or not it was your intent, you led by example, and in the process gave birth to a cadre of ill-informed mockingbirds, doing their best to scream insults and accusations as loud as you’ve shown them you’re able to.

I’ve never read the bible, and have absolutely no idea what Galatians 6-7 says, but someone I know suggested that you read it.

Sincerely,

H. Roark
Brother Blogger